wind

the wind is blowing.
figuratively and literally.

the wind is blowing today in st. louis and it's only supposed to get worse as the winds from ike make their way to missouri. the winds have been blowing hard in texas, where my friends and family sit in boarded up houses or miles from their homes waiting for the word that the storm has passed. i can't imagine that feeling, not knowing what has happened to the life i left behind. i hate not knowing how all my friends are doing and if their families are safe.

the wind is blowing my life around almost like a hurricane. less than a month ago, i was in texas working at camp with the best people i've ever had the pleasure of serving with. i miss that support system. a few weeks ago, i was home with my family loving every minute with my parents and watching my brother's soccer games and late night dinners together. i miss that community. i'm back at seminary now. the winds have blown people in and out. so many new people and so many familiar faces gone. even in the few familiar faces, life has changed us and we all have a summer of experience to catch up on. life has changed for me. the direction i thought life was going has drastically changed since the last time i was here. that was only three months ago.

i'd like to say that's the beauty of wind. we don't know where it is coming from or where it is going. it is powerful and moves with a confidence that can leave us in awe. today, i don't like wind. i am not a fan of the destruction it is causing back home or the destruction it is causing in my heart. but then again who likes change that they have no control over? i miss 'being in control'. i miss 'knowing what direction i was going'. silly me for thinking that those are things that i really had a grasp of. silly me.

wind is a force to be reckoned with. i mean, really, who can say to the winds to stop blowing? only one, Jesus Christ our Lord. the God who controls the wind and the waves is the same God who controls the winds of my life. the winds of my heart. He knows where the wind comes from and He knows where it is going. He knows what direction i'm going, even though i don't. even though i wish i did.