the strongest muscle...

in high school we had religion every day. the sort of thing you do in a private Christian school. and of course, you had to bring your Bible to class every day. but it wasn't just any Bible, it was the concordia self-study Bible. and it weighed a ton. so my junior year, we convinced our teacher to let us keep our Bibles in her classroom so we didn't have to lug them around every where.

so this worked out well. and from time to time, other people from different classes might end up using your Bible cause they had forgotten theirs. no big deal...

i'm not sure when it started happening, but one day i happened to look on the last pages of my Bible and there were numerous little messages left for me:

"wuz up, ash? stay cool."
"keep it real!"
"you are my bestest friend ever."

really? are you kidding me? my Bible had become a yearbook. but one section of black ink caught my attention...

"if the heart is the strongest muscle in the body,
why is it the easiest to break?"

well, at that point in my insignificant high school career, if i would have known that, life would have made much more sense. and even today, i wish i knew that answer. i think i learned early on how true that really was, not just in relationships, but in friendships too. and i'm beginning to believe that this has shaped a lot of who i am. oh, to put up a tough exterior, one that looks unbreakable and indestructable, while the inside collapses to a million pieces. if only one could find a healthy middle ground. makes me think alot about this passage from proverbs 4.23:

"above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life."

i don't really know what made me think of that quote last night. maybe cause i'm a little more broken than i'd like to admit. we're all broken people, i realize that. just some days i feel more broken than most. but believe it or not, that is what God asks of us... our brokenness. complete brokenness.

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
psalm 51:16-17